There are no real updates, just a rumor that Paul won HOH and is now safe this week. If true then one of James, Corey, Nicole will be heading home. We know Paul planned to put up Corey and Nicole. If he did, then James would currently have the vote to evict pending the outcome of the POV ceremony. If James retains the right to evict (he or Paul wins POV) then expect Corey to go bye bye. If Corey wins POV then it’s likely goodbye James. If Nicole wins POV, I don’t know which she’d choose. Corey’s her boy toy, but they’ve been kind of moving apart a bit, where James is a vet who dilutes the “no vets” voting strategy.
With the season winding down the Live Feed Spoiler and Updates crew has managed to once again smuggle our intrepid reporter into the BB house for candid one on one interviews with each of the final four house guests. Up first in the interviewing process is Corey. The unlikely showmance partner of Nicole.
“Corey, can you tell us what you’re feeling right now? Corey? Can you hear me Corey? Corey?”
“Christmas! Harry Potter! My doggie! Harry Potter!”
Perhaps we’ll come back to Corey after his meds have a chance to kick in. Up next is James, the mighty mite of a veteran player who seemingly slept his way to the final four.
“James, can you tell us how you’re feeling at this stage of the game?”
“Well, this ain’t my first rodeo, but I guess I feel lonely right now after Natalie was voted out. She was the love of my life, my right hand girl, the only person in the house I could totally trust.”
“And yet, you wouldn’t listen to her and insisted she ally with Nicole and Corey, an alliance that ultimately got her voted out.”
“I really thought I could trust Nicole and Corey. Heck, they knew this wasn’t my first rodeo, but they took advantage of me. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have trusted them.”
“Speaking of trust, how many alliances were you in this year?”
“Let’s see now. I started out with the Four Vets, then we grew into the Eight Pack, I had final two deals with Nicole, Davonne, and Frank, then when Paulie came into power I joined up with the Executives, I had a final three with Paulie and Corey, then a new final two with Natalie, and now I’m allied with Nicole and Corey and also Paul. So what’s that, something like ten or so? I was also sort of in a girls’ alliance with Natalie, Bridgette, Bronte, and Tiffany for a while, but we never really formalized it.”
“How many house guests weren’t you allied with?”
“I never got the chance to ally with Glenn, he was gone too fast. I don’t think I had an alliance with Jozea either, but I guess they’re the only two I wasn’t allied with at some time.”
“What was your strategy this year?”
“I tried to avoid becoming a target. Lay low, let others get picked off then as I neared the end of the game rise up and play hard to win.”
“And when are you planning to rise up and play hard?”
“I figure another couple of weeks and I should be ready to go.”
“You realize there are only nine days to go?”
“There are? Well, dang! I might have to start playing soon.”
“Did you have a preshow alliance with Nicole?”
“No! Absolutely not! I mean we’d talked about it, but we never really formalized anything. It’s not the first rodeo for either of us. We did agree to share the prize money if either of us won and we promised not to nominate one another or anything like that, but we never had an alliance.”
“Is there anything you’d like to tell your fans?”
“Tell them to tell Natalie that I love her and I promise her that all those women who have restraining orders against me are exaggerating things.”
We then moved back to check in on Corey.
“Corey, can you tell us how you’re feeling at this stage of the game? Corey? Corey, are you okay? Corey?”
“Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter.”
We’ll give Corey’s meds a bit longer to take effect. Let’s talk to his showmance partner Nicole.
“Good morning Nicole.”
“Oh my Godddddd! I can’t believe I’m heeeeeeere! This is amazinnnnnnnng!”
“Ah, yes. Could we talk about your relationship with Corey?”
“Coreeeeey! Sure! But we’re just good friends, I’m not sure I’d call us a showmance.”
“That’s not how it looked on the night vision cameras.”
“Night vision cameras? What night vision cameras?”
“There are night vision cameras allowing live feed watchers to see what happens when the lights go out.”
“Oh my Goddddddd! Are you kidding meeeeee?”
“No, there are night vision cameras in the bedrooms so live feed viewers can see everything that goes on even in the dark.”
“Are you saying people could see what we were doing?”
“Well you are both grown adults, so no one’s too shocked.”
“Oh my, Goddddd! Coreeeey! I can’t believe we’re the porn stars of Big Brother! My God! How many times have people downloaded us?”
“Actually none. I’m afraid most people are more bored by what you two do than anything. People are calling your Borey and No Soul. Speaking of Borey, er Corey, we’ve been trying to interview him, but he seems somewhat unfocused. Is there a trick to getting him to open up?”
“Here’s what I do, you start out with your fingers like this and. . . . It’s probably best if I do it for you.”
We’ll consider that interview done and move on to the Paul, the loud, tattooed, former MMA fighter, clothing designer who just lost his best friend in the game.
“Paul, can you tell us how you’re feeling at this stage of the game?”
“BONED! YOUR BOY HAS BEEN BONED, BONED, AND BONED AGAIN! ALL I WANTED WAS FRIENDSHIP AND ALL I GOT WAS BONED!”
“You were allied with James, Michelle and Natalie in a final five alliance. Can you tell us what happened?”
“I GOT BONED!”
“You then were in a final four alliance with Nicole and Corey. Could you tell us what happened?”
“I GOT BONED!”
“Didn’t Natalie warn you that this would happen?”
“YES. I THOUGHT SHE WAS TRYING TO BONE ME THOUGH SO I IGNORED WHAT SHE SAID AND I GOT BONED! YOUR BOY WOULD LOVE TO GO BACK AND RESUME THAT FRIENDSHIP WITH NATALIE, BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE I GOT BONED!”
“What are your plans if you win HOH?”
“I’M GOING TO BONE NICOLE AND COREY!”
We now find Nicole and Corey under the covers in their corner bed in the Tokyo bedroom and Corey seems more responsive so we’ll attempt once more to interview him.
“So Corey, are you ready to talk to us now?”
“Yes.”
“As you know many of the players this year were coached by former players. We know that you knew Clay from last year. Did you receive any coaching from Clay?”
“Yes.”
“What did he tell you to do?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, but what exactly did Clay tell you to do?”
“Yes.”
“Corey?”
“Yes.”
“Can you say anything other than yes?”
“Harry Potter.”
We then gathered all four together for one final question.
“What was the biggest obstacle to your game this year?”
James responded, “I think Nicole, Corey and I all agree that our biggest issue this year was bedsores. It’s hard lying in bed for three full months.”
Paul then added, “GETTING BONED!”
And that concludes our final four interviews for this year. Thanks for tuning in and check back tomorrow when the live feeds resume.
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